Woman Clips off Right Foot With Toenail Clippers

 

The giant sized clippers were part of her world record collection of toenail clippers.

LEBANON, Ind (Gene Simmons-Staves Associated Press) – Kelly Gunderson, 36, of Lebanon, clipped the toes off her right foot with giant toenail clippers while trying to clip her toenails, police said.

Gunderson’s husband said that she was just lying on the edge of her bed clipping her toenails, watching Conan O’Brien when she unexpectedly lost control of her laughing and ended up clipping off the top portion of her right foot. The giant sized clippers were part of her world record collection of toenail clippers.  “She kind of had a thing about being the only person to have clipped their toenails with such large clippers,” Mr. Gunderson boasted.

Mr. Gunderson said his wife was trying to clip her big toe toenails, but hit the top of her foot instead.  “Conan had dressed up that night like an old lady and was asking people for help across the street–meanwhile making farting noises as he crossed the street.  It was hilarious, she and I both started crying because of how hard we was laughing I suppose that she just lost control while clipping,” Mr. Gunderson explained.

Mr. Gunderson said his wife was trying to clip her big toe toenails, but hit her whole foot instead.

“It wasn’t the first time she had used those clippers, but it was the first time she ever clipped off a body part,” Mr. Gunderson said.  “I told her that someday she was going to clip off her foot, but she didn’t believe me,” he added.

Mrs. Gunderson’s foot had flipped away like your toenails do and it took a while for the two of them to find it since it was lodged behind her armoire.  After locating her foot, her husband immediately took his wife and her foot to Willington Memorial Hospital, where the surgeons attempted to reattach the foot.  Unfortunately, she didn’t make it.  She completely bled out.

After locating the foot, her husband immediately took his wife and her foot to Willington Memorial Hospital,

No charges were filed against the clipper manufacturers, police said.  “You’ve just got to pay more attention when clipping your toenails regardless of the size of the clippers, said Sargent Blake McCovney of the Lebanon Police Department.  “It’s people like this that lose an eye, or something worse–this time it was something worse.

Giraffe riding; it’s Clearly Not Your Fault.

You will also learn the most common giraffe riding styles; English or Western

If giraffeback riding intimidates you, or you have an unexplained fear of giraffes, it is simply not your fault. Giraffes were once the main means of transportation in many places in the world. Then, along comes the horse, the riding animal of kings. From that point on, we have been conditioned to see only the horse as the quinesential pleasant mode of animal transport.

So, it’s not your fault, giraffes are tall animals that look intimating. You are simply reacting to a lifetime of what you have seen and been told. Well ya know what? That is about to change. You are going to love giraffes and giraffeback riding once we are through with you.

Giraffes were once the main means of transportation in many places in the world.

Thanks to a super-easy giraffeback riding adventure made for “regular people” with little or no experience around giraffes, you will quickly discover that learning to ride a giraffe can be fast, easy and fun. You can and will do it.  Your friends will think you’re really cool for taking professional giraffeback riding lessons. You’ll have your giraffeback riding skills honed in no time thanks to the easy new training adventure called,

“Akungenywa Giraffe Tours, Beginning Giraffeback Riding”

You'll have your giraffeback riding skills honed in no time

It’s an easy-to-understand and very hands-on course with easy to follow instruction time – this giraffeback riding tour shows you just what you need to know to learn to ride a giraffe for your first time. You’ll learn all of the giraffeback riding basics… how to approach a giraffe, what never to do, how to mount, how to dismount and much, much more. It’s extremely user-friendly.

All of the giraffeback riding information is explained to you in clear, concise language as long as you understand Afrikaans, so don’t feel overwhelmed. Even if you don’t understand Afrikaans, it’s not too difficult to pick it up since it’s similar to Dutch and Flemish.

Even if you don't understand Afrikaans, it's not too difficult to pick it up since it's similar to Dutch and Flemish.

Your training tour will be completed over the course of a number of days:

Day 1 – You will study the history of giraffes and giraffeback riding. This will prepare you for your new adventure. The earliest Giraffes and how they have changed. What is a Bay Giraffe? We’ll tell ya. You will also learn the most common giraffe riding styles; English or Western and which style is best for you. How tight should you hold the reins? Hugging the giraffes neck. Should you? We’ll tell you.

Day 2 – This day you will be trained on exactly how a Giraffe thinks and sees – this will help you know the best ways to approach, mount and dismount a giraffe to help gain its trust in you. Which saddle might be best for you? Have to approach a Giraffe from behind? We’ll teach you all that. This is very important for your safety!

Three-day tour of Akungenywa Park

Day 3 – You will discover how to get your Giraffe to stop instantly, how to read a Giraffe’s body language and know EXACTLY what it means when it bites at your face. Also, how to instantly recognize an outgoing friendly giraffe and how to discipline your giraffe the right way when it’s needed. Next, you’ll learn the right way to get your giraffe to start walking rather than bolting or bucking. What to expect on your second giraffeback ride, and then the third and fourth.

Day 4 – First, reading the giraffe’s ears and how they hold the key to how they are feeling. Next, you’ll learn giraffe riding for people with special needs. If you have children why not get them involved. It can be fun for them too. The joys of giraffeback riding in a complicated world filled with lions and hippos.

Day 5 - Three-day tour of Akungenywa Park begins.

Day 9 – Return to Akengenywa station for rest and relaxation.

a giraffeback rider may have a serious accident once every 35 hours

Please understand:

Giraffeback riding carries a higher injury rate than motorcycle riding. On average, motorcyclists in Africa suffer an injury once every 7000 hours of riding. By contrast, a giraffeback rider may have a serious accident once every 35 hours.

Locations and types of injury

Injuries commonly occur in the upper extremities, such as the neck, head, and shoulders. Lower extremity injuries, involving the groin, anus, and lower back, are more frequent in men and less common with women. Although most accidents occur while riding a giraffe, some take place in the stable while handling, grooming, or feeding the giraffe.  Some injuries, such as an injury to the spinal region, can leave permanent impairment, possibly resulting in paralysis. Others may cause long-term side effects, such as seizures from a head injury.

Some injuries, such as an injury to the spinal region, can leave permanent impairment, possibly resulting in paralysis.

The most frequent types of injuries are deep bruises, lacerations and severe sprains, which affect the soft tissues (skin, ligaments, tendons, and muscles). Other types of injuries include fractures, dislocations, and concussions.
Deaths resulting from giraffeback riding injuries are somewhat common. Most deaths are a result of a traumatic injury to the head.

Safety

Hard shell helmets should be worn at all times when you are mounted on the giraffe. The helmet must always be securely fastened and should be replaced after any significant impact.

Hard shell helmets should be worn at all times

Numerous injuries are related to extremeties being caught in the stirrups on dismount. A properly matched boot-stirrup combination is very important. Release catches are available on some saddles to prevent snagging if your extremety is caught. Correct positioning of the face is also important.

Riders should wear properly fitted boots and nonskid gloves. Do not wear loose-fitting or baggy clothing. All riding equipment should be maintained and inspected thoroughly before venturing out.

Please do not make out with our giraffes!

Body-protecting gear, such as the KevlarT Body Protector, can be used to prevent soft tissue injuries and rib fractures; however, it does not protect the spine from injury and does not protect against a massive crushing blow to the chest.

No giraffeplay allowed!

Amateur riders should not attempt jumps, rears, or daredevil stunts. Some giraffes that are domesticated and tamed are safer than others, but no giraffe is 100% safe. They are still wild animals and instincts generally govern their decisions! Increasing the rider’s awareness of the potential risks, wearing protective gear, and keeping equipment in good working order can reduce the risk of giraffeback riding injuries.

Universal Studios air strikes hit Disneyland

 Glen Simmons-Staves Associated Press, Anaheim CA – Universal Studios has launched several air raids against targets in Disneyland near the border with California Adventure, causing damages but no injuries, Disneyland security sources have said. The strikes targeted “open areas” near the town of Main Street, USA and tunnels along the border with California Adventure, exiting guest’s said.

A Universal Studios military spokesman confirmed that the “Universal Studios (U.S) air force intervened in the Frontier Land Strip,” late on Friday. “Our planes attacked four tunnels that were dug under the border with California Adventure and used for weapons smuggling,” the spokesman told the Theme Park News. “An arms depot was also targeted and the explosives that were stocked there exploded,” he said. 

…a prisoner swap to free Woody Woodpecker, a captured Universal Studios costume character performer.

The raids came hours after Disneyland employees fired two rockets at Universal Studios without causing damage or victims, according to a military spokesman.The strikes also came after reports that indirect talks between Ed Greir and Ron Meyer over a prisoner swap to free Woody Woodpecker, a captured Universal Studios costume character performer, failed. Woody was captured by Disneyland employees in a 2006 cross-town raid.

Jean McIntyre, a Disneyland official who is involved in the continued negotiations, said on Friday that the talks had shown little progress and that any claims by Universal Studios that progress had been made were ridiculous.

“There has been no progress in the [Woody] file for several months and that is because [Universal] remained unwilling to pay the price,” he told Family Fun news agency. McIntyre was responding to a report published on the website of Universal Studio’s Employee newsletter quoting unnamed Disneyland employees as saying significant progress had been made in truce talks and Woody Woodpecker’s freedom.

McIntyre did not mention where the talks had been held or who led the mediation. Disneyland has demanded the release of 1,400 captured guests in exchange for Mr. Woodpecker. Meyer said Universal Studios had only agreed to 71 names from the list of 450 long-serving Disneyland employees that were captured more than a year ago.

Muppett Returns, But With Pregnant Girlfriend and Drug Addiction.

The Muppet made famous by the television show, Sesame Street, “Hokey Pokey” Elmo finally comes home

Glen Simmons-Staves Associated Press – August 14th 1997, Sesame Street, Queens, NY-A heartbroken 5-year-old girl from Queens, N.Y., was hanging posters for the return of her lost friend “Hokey Pokey” Elmo.

Today, after years of wishes, little Natalya Sanchez has been miraculously reunited with her beloved singing and dancing Muppet after he resurfaced some 2500 miles away in Las Vegas, NV — proving that every Muppet can have their caper. “I was actually scared that I was never going to see him again,” the now 11-year-old Natalya told TODAY’s Ann Curry on Wednesday. “I literally said, ‘I will probably never see him again.’ ”

Christy Sanchez, Natalya’s mother, said the family was shocked to get a call last week from a detoxification facility in Henderson, NV, informing them that the long-lost Muppet had been picked up by local police after half a decade of riotous living.  Thanks to a microchip implanted in the Muppet, an effective form of permanent identification, Natalya’s greatest hopes had been realized.

To help fill the aching void left by Elmo, the family immediately purchased a new doll, a year after the disappearance — Emo, an Elmo knockoff available in tight jeans, fringed bangs and eye makeup. But even having an openly emotional adolescent “Mopet” in the household couldn’t fully erase Natalya’s heartache. “She got over it, but she was always wishful that “Hokey,” as she had nicknamed him would come back,” Cristina Sanchez said. “She’d always make wishes.”

Emo, an Elmo knockoff available in tight jeans, fringed bangs and eye makeup.

[EMO REPRESENTATION BY MATTHEW PAGE: WWW.CODENAMEBLOGTASTICA.BLOGSPOT.COM]

 

Although she was barely a kid herself at the time, Natalya had no problem remembering the joy of getting a new “brother” named “Hokey Pokey” Elmo. “I was really excited,” she told Curry. “I love the Hokey Pokey!” But one fateful day in 2003, after just two months in the Sanchez household, the Muppet slipped under a fence and disappeared into the night. The family searched high and low, checked with neighbors and local authorities and posted flyers. But the only thing that remained of Elmo was a piece of red fluff that clung to the fence — and the memory of the joy he brought Natalya. “She was very devastated,” Cristina said. “She kept the fluff. She had a scrapbook with his picture.”

Then, on July 5, while Natalya was at a family rave party, she received a call from Las Vegas County, NV, Department of Corrections. “We were so surprised,” Cristina said. “At first, of course, we thought, ‘It’s the wrong Elmo, maybe it’s just that look-a-like bastard “Tickle-Me” Elmo!” But I think the turning point was when they said, ‘He’s calling himself Blake Johnson, but his tag says “Hokey Pokey” Elmo, and he won’t shut up. We’ve had to detain him because he won’t stop trying to get us to dance’

He looked good with his windswept hair and his “George Michael-like beard.”

Right there, we said, ‘OK, he’s ours.’ When her mom told her the amazing news, Natalya just “cried hysterically,” Cristina said. “ She actually wanted to go to Las Vegas to pick him up, but the flight was just too long.”

Natalya’s father, Jamie, and older brother, Kimberly, flew down to Las Vegas to pick up the prodigal Elmo, his girlfriend and a few bags containing green plant material and drove the former Sesame Street actor back home in a rental car. “I was so choked up when I saw him,” Nick said. “It was a very nice moment, just to see him.  He looked good with his windswept hair and his “George Michael-like beard.”

Randy Ditcher, supervisor at Las Vegas County, NV, Department of Corrections, said Elmo had a few scars along the inside of his arm and a few scars behind one ear to show for his years on the road when he was brought in to a detoxification facility by local police. After the Muppet was scanned for a microchip, which Ditcher says is “normal procedure,” he gladly made the call to the Sanchez household. “[Jamie] said he had been living the hard life on the streets for five years,”  Ditcher said. “My understanding is that [Kimberly] ran off into the bathroom and started crying right away.  He’s a real Muppet lover.”

How Elmo actually got all the way to Las Vegas from New York remains to be said. “He could have hitched, or rode the rails, maybe befriended another little girl visiting New York form Las Vegas; I honestly don’t think he walked there, he’s got such short legs and really sticks out in a crowd” Cristina said with a laugh. “It’s OK, as long as we have him back.”

Ditcher said that the LVPD had a few run-ins’ with this Muppet before, but no one had checked for a microchip. But if anyone looked after “HP” [Elmo], as he likes to be called, over the five long years has the lifelong gratitude of a little girl in Queens. “Too bad we couldn’t meet them or see them,” Natalya said wistfully.

Karl Malone Un-Retires!

Updated: January 10, 2009, 3:54 PM EST

We're excited to have Karl back on the team this year.

“We’re going to take this just one game at a time,” Jazz GM Kevin O’Connor said on a conference call early Thursday morning. “We’re excited to get Karl back on the team this year.” “With the future of Carlos Boozer unsure, this is the best move that we could make at this time-besides, the fans love him.  If nothing else he could get up from the bench and waive to the fans from time to time.  Just imagine how that would charge the whole building!”
Malone, who announced his NBA playing career was over Feb 13th 2005, was introduced at a 6 p.m. news conference at Energy Solutions Arena yesterday afternoon.

Malone's new No. 32 Jazz jersey already was for sale on the team's Web site

Needing to get up to speed with the Jazz’s new playbook, Karl wanted to join his team as quickly as possible so he can get ready for the next week’s game vs. the Dallas Mavericks January 17th.
He spent the night at Larry Miller’s home, before driving to the ESA to meet with Jazz officials.
O’Connor said on KFAN yesterday morning, “…Karl was very aggressive; he was very active and did a great job selling himself to Larry and myself.”
“I am looking forward to seeing Karl Malone in a Utah Jazz jersey,” Jazz Chairman and CEO Larry H. Miller said in a statement released by the team. “He represents a significant addition to this franchise, and reflects our commitment to putting the best possible product on the court.”  “We’ve worked out a deal that if he can’t complete the season that he will help out at concessions or run the Jazz blimp during time-outs.  The fans love that sort of thing.”

...Karl was very aggressive; he was very active and did a great job selling himself to Larry and myself.

Malone’s old No. 32 Jazz jersey was already for sale on the team’s Web site about an hour after the signing was announced.   “He’s going to be wearing the same style jersey he wore during the 1998 NBA Finals, so he will more easily stand out on the court,” Team Manager, Willy Spooner said. As a result of the trade, the Jazz released their newest star forward, Paul Millsap on Tuesday to free up space for Karl’s contract under the salary cap.
“It’s a bittersweet moment for us,” Kevin O’Connor said. “I have all the respect in the world for Millsap as a person, as a player. We’ve accomplished a lot of good things with Paul … He’s put up some great numbers and has given his heart and soul to this organization for a long time. I really appreciate everything he’s done.”
The Jazz will go into the heart of the season with an open competition between Carlos Boozer and Karl Malone after Carlos has struggled with severl nagging injuries this season.
Finally, late Tuesday, Karl talked to head coach, Jerry Sloan and others in the organization (Deron WIlliams, Carlos Boozer, and others) for the first time as he tried to convince the team that he would be a good fit for the Jazz.

The Jazz will go into training camp with an open competition between Carlos Boozer and Karl Malone

“He’s coming to a new team,” O’Connor said. “He’d been in one system for about a hundred years – then he left for LA for a season.  He doesn’t have a lot of connections to our current roster.  We were able to talk through moving to the post more often and other issues.”
The Jazz decided to send an invitation to both John Stockton and Jeff Hornacek to sign on as backup guards after Karl announced his desire to return to the NBA. Given their curent fitness levels, team officials weren’t particularly optimistic that they would come out of retirement as well.

I am looking forward to seeing Karl Malone in a Utah Jazz jersey, Jazz Chairman and CEO Larry H. Miller said

“The kid has arrived at the candystore, whatever analogy you want,” O’Connor said Tuesday morning. “Karl needs to shove his hands into the licorice jar and get moving; there’s other kids in line.”
Julian Styles with The Glen Simmons-Staves Associated Press contributed to this report.